Every young person needs to be intentionally prepared for and welcomed into adulthood. Often in our culture, we complain that teenagers are immature. The truth is, we fail to equip them. Rites of passage are the time honored way to do that.
Last month we celebrated the Bar Mitzvah of our eldest son. We borrowed the idea from our Jewish heritage, but designed the celebration to reflect our priorities and his unique calling.
One of the most important things about any rite of passage is the preparation. He listed skills he needed to have as a man, and spent time developing those for over a year. He also spent several months memorizing a portion of scripture we wanted him to take with him into adulthood.
The celebration itself was profoundly holy and great fun. We invited friends and family to join us at a park for a festive meal. We had a time of worship (including a song he wrote when he was a preschooler) and he read a portion of scripture in Hebrew, and gave a brief commentary on it. He also recited a portion of the passage he’s been memorizing.
By far my favorite part of the day was when some key men in his life to blessed him. We asked to pray over him and share a piece of wisdom they wished someone had told them at 13. Some had prophetic insights for him, others had encouragement and affirmation. It was so powerful to witness those men welcoming our son into this next phase. I’m thankful for everything they imparted to him, and for everyone who celebrated with us.
Afterwards, the kids played laser tag and frisbee, and the brave ones even tried out our slack line. We basked in the beauty of the day and polished off the last of the homemade truffles.
But it’s not about the music or the truffles or the games. You can design a celebration that fits your son or daughter and welcomes them into a community of Godly adults.
What elements would you include in a rite of passage for your child? What advice do you wish someone had shared with you at 13? How can you use that to help your child prepare for adulthood?